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I'm in Tears

I'm in tears…

 

Watching the Chosen, the end of season 1 episode 2, where Mary Magdalene was hosting Shevat.

 

She was nervous and unsure, and probably felt inadequate and unqualified after being cleansed from the demons that had possessed her and set free from her sinful ways.

But then Jesus.

 

Jesus came in and sat down at her table. He came to her. He met her where she was (both when she was unclean and when she was trying to walk with God). He encouraged her to try.

Just His presence gave her peace. Just His presence calmed her spirit. His presence gave her the strength to try.

 

That scene hit me so much harder this time.

 

Initially, I thought, "who wouldn't be nervous to do something like that in front of Jesus?” but then I realized, that's not what He does. That's not Who He is. He gives peace.

“Who WOULD be nervous in front of Jesus?”

 

It touches His heart and makes Him proud to see His children try to do what He has called us to.

Rest...

<< Rest >> has been on my mind a lot lately.

What it is.

How we get it.

What it can look like.

How it feels.

How to view it.

Etc.

I'm in a season where I feel perpetually exhausted. No matter how much I want to, I just can't rest and feel fully rested when I get the chance.

What I've learned is that rest is worship. It's not something we “have to do” it's something we get to do. It's the physical act of acknowledging that God has, is and will provide for us.

God, in His wisdom, showed us the importance of rest after Creation. He rested. When He rested, He gave us permission to rest too. Because He is all knowing - He knows what has been and what is yet to come, He could have continued working - knowing what needed to be checked off next but He didn't.

He intentionally took the time to stop. He took time to appreciate what He'd created. He called it good. He called us good.

Which, to me, means ‘we're good’ to rest like He did. We don't have to go, go, go. We don't have to try to earn our way into His ‘good graces’. We don't have to immediately move onto the next thing.

We can and should take time to rest. We should stop and acknowledge how good God is to us. We should express our gratitude for all the blessings He's given us. We should praise Him in all things.

We should rest.

Discerning the voice of God

Discerning the voice of God has been a frequent topic for me lately.

 

I've heard it from different people and even contemplated it myself. What I've found interesting is how He speaks to us in different ways. He will give us a stirring in our spirit or a restlessness at times, He may whisper to us in that still small voice, in the fleeting thoughts in our mind; or He will audibly speak to us (maybe no one else hears it, but when you do, you KNOW).

 

The ‘voice’ that has been on my mind most often recently is the unsettling in your spirit. It's the most uncomfortable feeling. It won't let you rest. It won't let you feel peace. All you get are the thoughts that run their steady pace through your mind over the subject you're contemplating.

 

When He's calling you to make a decision, He allows the feeling to linger until you move.

When you've made a decision that's not in line with His plans for where you're at, the feeling stays until you correct the decision.

 

When the unsettling feeling comes, you can pray for that peace that surpasses understanding but it won't come. You only get the peace when you've done what He's asking you to do.

Sometimes that's harder to do than others. Sometimes, you want it so bad, you don't care that it just doesn't sit right. Sometimes, you see so much value in the thing and you can make all the justifications for it but He still calls you away from it (it's because He's got something better for you). Sometimes, what He's calling you to is scary and like Jonah, you want to run in the opposite direction but like Jonah, God won't let you go far. He's got plans for you. That means you have to make the right decision and trust that He is establishing your steps.

 

I wouldn't say I'm a pro at discerning His voice but as I grow, I'm enjoying finding the hidden gems He's laid out for me. Seeing my God at work and feeling His leading is something that is so much more special to me now than ever before.

 

If you're feeling unsettled, restless or a pull in your spirit, find out why. Ask Him to guide you in your decisions. Ask Him to reaffirm what He's calling you to and give you peace in the process.

He will.